When I was in college I had pretty much decided that the whole heaven and hell thing was bogus and that more than likely when we died we just died. Sometimes that thought REALLY freaked me out. I am talking panic...tears...sweating...unable to sleep. I would have these sudden panic moments where the uncertainty of death and the thought of a world without me just nearly drove me over an edge. Those moments used to happen fairly often.
They happen only rarely now. Last night I had one. I was getting ready for bed and just suddenly I got really freaked out by the thought of it. I very rationally tried to talk myself out of it. i prayed for God's comfort and truth and I felt a little better about the whole thing. I went to bed and read a little and then decided to pick up my bible. Currently in the mornings I read a little Old Testament and a little New Testament. Yesterday morning I started reading the book of Hebrews. I read Hebrews chapter 1 yesterday morning, so last night as I laid in bed I figured "well, I will just keep moving along into Hebrews Ch 2".
Sometimes we hear God in funny ways. Sometimes it's in a whisper. Sometimes he comes in loud and clear. Here is an excerpt from what I read last night...read in the context of my odd panic moment. The HE reference in this verse is Jesus
"Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death - that is, the devil - and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death." Hebrews 2:14-15.
It floored me. To hear God speak to me through His word so specifically. It was a huge comfort and joy to me and I have been thinking about it all day. To know that I am set free from fear by Christ. I really really really needed to hear that...for a lot of different reasons.
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3 comments:
Ames, I wish I could've experienced both this fear, and realization with you...right there, face to face. I love the way you grow in Christ. I love it more when I am by your side. I love that you have radical experinces....continually, and can write in such a captivating way about them!
I am not captivating anyone by my life here. I am this useless person to this society as of now. i can't participate in any normal conversations, simply because it would seem as though I have been living in a buble called Slovakia. Simple conversations about music, movies, culture, new, politics...aaahhhhh...I got nothin'. But your blog tonight, in it's honesty was challenging and uplifitng to me! thanks for taking the time to write it.
I didn't know how to publish something under my name. I thought I was registered, but I guess not. the previous comment was from me!!
bekah
you floor me, amy lawlor.
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